Wash: You haven’t been here in years, Jayne. You really think you need that getup? No one’s gonna remember you.
Mal: I think it’s possible they might.
Simon: Son of a bitch!
Mal: You wanna tell me how come there’s a statue here, lookin’ at me like I owe him something?
Jayne: Wishin’ I could, cap’n.
Mal: No, seriously, Jayne, you want to tell me—?
Jayne: Look, Mal, I got no ruttin’ idea. I was here a few years back, like I said. Pulled a second-story, stole a lot of scratch from the magistrate up on the hill. But things went way south. I had to hightail it. They don’t… put you on a pedestal in town square for that.
Mal: Yeah, ‘cept I’m looking at some fair compelling evidence says they do.
Simon: This must be what going mad feels like.
Welcome to the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram & Hart. We’re the oldest and most powerful law firm in the city. Founded in 1791 on ground deconsecrated by the blood of mass murderer Mathias Pavayne, Wolfram & Hart has put roots down in this glamorous city that grow deep, and branches that reach right into the heart of every major corporation, including Yoyodyne, Weyland Yutani, and Newscorp.
That captain of industry?
We own his soul.
That fabulous movie queen?
She owes us her first born.
But times change, and Wolfram & Hart is changing right along with them. Under our new C.E.O., Angel, we’re focusing less on power and more on using that power for good. We have a zero tolerance policy for killing, and that includes you, vampires. That better be pig’s blood, mister. Yes, our esteemed president has made it clear that this is a new company for the new millennium, and he wants to work with you.
If you don’t kill, we won’t kill you.
That’s right, no more employee sacrifices. At Wolfram & Hart, you’re part of a family now. You can work your way up the ladder, and there will always be a hand to help you up it. Every life and unlife is as important to our new management as their own. So go ahead, relax, and enjoy your new Wolfram & Hart family. Because at our firm, everyone matters.
You matter.
Buddy, you’re going places.
Stegosaurus: Yes…yes. This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…this land.
Allosaur: I think we should call it…your grave!
Stegosaurus: Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Allosaur: Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!
Stegosaurus: Oh no, God, oh dear God in heaven…
“That probably would’ve sounded more commanding if I wasn’t wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.”
-Buffy

“Surprise”, season 2
Buffy: What are you doing here? Five words or less.
Spike: Out. For. A. Walk… Bitch







